Steve Sax is arrested on suspicion of being responsible for all the unsolved crimes in New York, Scioscia comes down with radiation poisoning that renders him incapable of speaking normally, Ken Griffey Jr. overdoses on nerve tonic, Jose Canseco gets smoke inhalation behaving in an uncharacteristically non-douchebag fashion, Wade Boggs gets clocked in an argument over British political history, Ozzie Smith gets sucked into a strange alternate-universe wormhole, Roger Clemens thinks he’s a chicken, and Don Mattingly simply won’t trim his damn sideburns.